Inspiration
Articles to inspire authentic living on the topics of resilience, spirituality, and self-growth with touches of storytelling, depth, and humor.
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Love in Times of Cholera and Other Pandemics
Fast forward to 2020, while we are dealing with the paranoia of the COVID-19, we have all be instructed to stop touching, shaking hands and kissing altogether, as well as to avoid gatherings as much as possible. There is so much fear! We certainly need to take measures to avoid the spread of the disease as much as possible, but I can’t deny that I am even more worried for what it is fostering in our society,
The silence that spoke volumes
I took my car and drove in the middle of traffic to be near my daughter. The hospital was as most New York hospitals I have seen: overcrowded, noisy, modest, filled with a very diverse population. When I finally made it to the Emergency Room and after the security screening a nurse walked me through aisles full of patients and expecting relatives. She told me she was in bed #1272B. I was reading the numbered signs above each closed curtain but I could not see hers. The girl perceived my confusion and walked me to a printed sign next to the nurse station. “Here she is, ” she said without a trace of any apologetic tone.
Her bed was leaning over the side of the nurse station, a chair stuck on its foot and an IV placed behind her to avoid any of the patients or medical staff from tripping with it while they walk the narrow hall. I sat down on the chair and proceeded to ask the expected questions and to offer my love and compassion. Bed #1272B offered no privacy, however, it did gave me a frontal view of the gigantic screen where a spreadsheet showed the name and status of each of the thirty patients who were admitted at the time. More than half of those had Hispanic names.
The medical staff was as diverse as the population it served. An Indian doctor was speaking Spanish to the Dominican family that were accompanying the toddler they had brought. Behind the curtains in front of us was a tween girl screaming because she did not want to be tested for the flu and in between screams she started throwing up.
Bleeding to life
A warm blanket over my shoulders could not dissipate the angst for waiting for a doctor that was taking forever to show up. A thousand things in my to-do list, my mind going in circles planning how was I going to make the best out of the little time I had left to address my responsibilities of the day. A nurse with apologetic eyes kept coming in and out of the cold room. Finally, the doctor came in. I needed to get a contrast injected into my knee. The catheter was much larger than I expected but I was as collaborative as possible so that I could leave out of there as soon as possible.
The doctor was tall and thin, the kind of person that makes jokes without any inflection of his face muscles in a effort to keep you wondering if he was throwing a joke or filing a complaint. After the third “joke” I was laughing. We discussed politics, kids’ age differences, country of origin, why the doctor had sent me there among a variety of topics. After he removed the catheter he pressed the site and looked at me with a very serious face, or with his regular face, I should say.
“You have very thin blood,” he stated.
I thought for a second. “Is that good or bad?” I asked.
“It all depends,” he mentioned. “If you go to war and get stabbed, that is not good.”
I consider my options for a second. I have no plans of going to war.
“But if you worry about things like blood clots,” he continued, “Then it is really good. It can go either way.”
When I was afraid
Growing up, I would dig into my parent’s extensive and varied book collection and explore everything from the Britannica Encyclopedia, to Anthony Robbins, to Kahlil Gibran. It was in one of those books, I don’t even remember which one, that I read a phrase that would become my motto. I remember the moment of revelation it was to read it, how some kind on spiritual and intellectual door opened and changed me forever. Paraphrasing, it said that the only thing we should be afraid of is fear itself. That moment I decided to leave fearlessly.
I faltered a lot, though. The raising criminality in the place I used to call home and some close encounters to what could have been extreme tragedy made me powerless. Other than, I have tried to leave a courageous life.
Today, I had to face fear itself in a very unexpected location: the gym. I attended a very fun Zumba class. I was doing my turns and my steps while grinning bluntly. Then I felt it. First time it happened was five and a half years ago and it was back, was it? I was sliding to the right and my leg seemed to have turned more than it should, and something pulled behind my knee. I moved again and there it was. I stepped down for a second thinking I should stop and rest.