Living NOW, while we can
by Alfonsina Betancourt
There are years that are marked in history as Difficult. Those are the years of growth and pain, two nouns that act like conjoint twins. 2016 was one of those years for me.
Everything that could have gone wrong did. I was on auto-pilot between doctor’s appointments, advocating at school, several hours of driving every day, taking care of a baby, and a sick dog at home, readjusting finances and trying to keep creating and dealing with uncertainty. Every time I thought we were finally solving a situation, something else, bigger and harder, would come. It felt like being caught in between high waves. I might still have some leftover trauma from it because as I write this my body starts feeling extremely exhausted, just as it did back then. That was the year I turned forty, but there was no big celebration; I only wanted to curl up and cry.
But we survived! Of course, that had not been my only difficult year, and as it usually happens, wonderful milestones also became part of the equation. What made 2016 so different is that it taught me to stop resisting. I remember the moment I was on my knees praying and crying and asking God that He could do whatever He thought I needed and that I wouldn’t fight it anymore. It was one of the most liberating things I have ever done.
As part of my survival tactics, I consumed a lot of self-help books and TED talks during that period of time. One of the books that reset my whole perspective and shaped me into the woman I am today was “The Power of NOW” by Eckhart Tolle.
The German spiritual teacher taught me that everything changes when I stop worrying about the future and victimizing myself in the past. The circumstances took some time to improve, but I was not the same, and as a consequence, the things that were killing me before stopped being as powerful. By letting go of my need to control the situation, the situation stops controlling me.
Does this sound familiar? Does being quarantined at home feel out of our control?
Yes, there is not much we can control about our current pandemic situation. But what we can control is what happens inside. Currently, so many plans are on hold, which feels like a hammer shattering the armature of planners and control freaks. Maybe you don’t fit that characteristic, but you are upset about the vacation you canceled or then one you still don’t know you will be able to take in the Summer. The world has clicked on the Pause button, and we can’t decide when Play will be available. But that is the future, and the future is uncertain right now (and it usually is), so what are we left with?
We are left with two choices. We are left with anxiety or we are left with the NOW. One makes us miserable, the other one gives us peace. It sounds like it should be a no-brainer. Let’s choose peace, right? Unfortunately, it is not that easy.
Living in the present is quite challenging, especially when the present is scary. But if we believe that even the most grueling situations push us towards growth, save us for better futures, and clear our paths, then there is nothing as auspicious as the present moment because everything that is happening right now has a purpose. There is no loss in the present if we live it fully. If we don’t, then life escapes through us like sand from our hands. If we are not fully present today, we cannot enjoy any future moments either. Under these unforeseeable circumstances, we have a golden opportunity because the future has been placed temporarily on hold, and we are forced to sit with our present.
Being present does not mean only looking at the bright side of a situation. It means accepting what scares us, what hurts, what lifts our spirits, what makes us smile. It does not mean being paralyzed but rather stopping resisting what we have in front, even if that implies making changes.
This is where we are NOW. I don’t like all parts of it. Sometimes I am scared, and sometimes I want to put a pillow over my head and scream. But sometimes I feel like laughing, like celebrating, like tuning down the bad news and the bad forecasts. Any moment is valuable. The present moment does not need to be ideal, beautiful, or exciting to be worth living. The present moment is just ALL we have. Are we ready to take it or not? The choice is ours.
2020 is projected to go on the books as one of those Difficult Years. However, 2020 might also become our great teacher. Let’s live to live, the good and the bad parts, because the future is uncertain, and last time I checked, humans were allergic to uncertainty. But today, NOW, the present….there is nothing more certain than that! And if we have to fall on our knees, that is fine too. I can assure you that sometimes there is no easier way to spring back on our feet and land exactly where we were meant to be all along.
“So give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting . . . snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be, and enjoy being. If you are present, there is never any need for you to wait for anything. So next time somebody says, “Sorry to have kept you waiting,” you can reply, “That’s all right, I wasn’t waiting. I was just standing”
— Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment