The Forced Vacation
by Alfonsina Betancourt
I am unsure who needs to hear this today, but I certainly needed to write it. These are challenging times, there is no doubt. In the beginning, we make plans, as we always do, to try to deal with this unexpected hand of cards we have been dealt. We make a list of projects we will do while we are stuck at home, including fixing things that were not working at home, remodeling, spring cleaning, and rearranging. Maybe we will set apart some time for that bubble bath we always intend to take but never have the time to. We will meditate, write, check on friends, cook as a family, play board games, scan old photos, reread old letters, and finish that book that has been sitting on our nightstand.
After a few days, the real crisis starts.
Once, I met a man who told me that he had advised all of his daughters that before they got married, they had to take a three-week vacation with the object of their affection. It had to be three weeks because the first two weeks are usually the honeymoon. Everything seems lovely, a novelty. But after that, people start getting annoyed with the smallest traits of someone’s personality. He said that if a couple survives those three weeks, they are in for the long run.
These times are like a forced three-week vacation with the only caveat that there is no exotic location or novelties. Everything is old, and everything gets tiring after a while. Anxiety creeps in, boredom is just the cherry on top of the cake.
We all handle anxiety differently, especially in our households. Some need to vent, others need to cave in. There is no right or wrong answer, but assuming our way to deal with this situation is the right way is the ticket to relationship explosions.
Compared to many others, I have had an easy life, or so I’d like to think. But deep down, I know I have fought some major battles. Some of those had me questioning if I would survive if I could remain vulnerable and open. Some of them make me think I don’t have what it takes to stand up again. Guess what? I do. I have surpassed the many blows, and I can still love my life and who I have become in the process. Thanks to the toughest battles, I have learned to trust in the Universe, God, Life, and whatever people want to call that external/internal force that would always have our backs. The safety net is the wisest force that knows what is best for us when we cannot see it in our myopic views.
After all of this passes, there will be lots of casualties. Lives for sure, but also lost jobs, bankrupted companies, relationships stranded, lost opportunities, dreams shattered. Lots of things will not turn out as we thought they will. But in the same way, good things will also come out of this. When we are in the middle of the storm, all we feel are the blows, the thunder. But afterward, we realize things always work out. That is the recipe for creating resilience.
Let’s have faith that when life seems slightly out of control when we are tired and stressed and feel too much pain, this will eventually improve because no storm is permanent.
Let’s make all the plans we can and accept that some of those plans will not go as we want.
Let’s embark on this long-forced vacation, knowing that in the end, we will know what we are made of.
Let’s remember that sometimes standing still is the only option.
Let’s remain gentle with each other and with ourselves.
Let’s live even when life seems different than what we envisioned.
And especially, let’s trust in our capacity to see the beauty outside, inside, and in this perfect master plan that wasn’t ours but it was always meant for us.